The Caregiver's Toolkit: Supporting an Aging Parent with Knee Pain

A Guide for Those Who Care

Watching a parent struggle with knee pain is difficult. You want to help, but you may not know how. This toolkit provides practical resources for supporting your loved one while taking care of yourself.

Part 1: Understanding What They’re Facing

The Physical Reality

Chronic knee pain affects daily life in ways that aren’t always visible:

What You Might See:

Limping or slower walking
Difficulty with stairs
Using furniture for support
Avoiding certain activities

What You Might Not See:

Pain that wakes them at night
Stiffness every morning
Fear of falling
Exhaustion from constant discomfort

The Emotional Reality

Chronic pain often comes with:

Depression: Up to 50% of chronic pain patients Anxiety: About falling, about burdening family Grief: For abilities and activities lost Isolation: Avoiding social situations Loss of identity: “I used to be so active”

Part 2: Starting the Conversation

What NOT to Say

“You just need to exercise more”
“Have you tried [random supplement]?”
“It can’t be that bad”
“At least it’s not cancer”
“You’re getting older, what do you expect?”

What TO Say

Opening the conversation:

“I’ve noticed you seem to be in more pain lately. Want to talk about it?”
“I miss seeing you at [activity]. Is the knee making it hard?”
“How has your pain been this week, really?”

Offering support:

“Would it help if I came to your next doctor’s appointment?”
“I’d like to understand what you’re going through. Can you tell me more?”
“What would make your day easier? I’d like to help if I can.”

When they resist help:

“I know you’re used to being independent. This is just temporary support.”
“You’ve helped me so many times. Please let me return the favor.”
“Accepting help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.”

Part 3: Treatment Checklist

Questions to Ask at Appointments

Bring this list to medical visits:

About Current Pain:

What is the diagnosis?
What grade of arthritis is shown on X-ray?
What treatments have been tried?

About Treatment Options:

What are all available treatments?
Which are covered by Medicare?
What are the risks and benefits of each?

About Injections:

Were previous injections done with imaging guidance?
Is viscosupplementation (gel) an option?
What’s the expected outcome?

About Surgery:

Is surgery truly necessary now?
What happens if we delay?
What are the specific risks given their health?

Tracking Treatment History

Create a simple log:

Date	Treatment	Provider	Result	Notes

Part 4: Practical Support Strategies

Daily Living Modifications

Kitchen:

Organize frequently used items at waist height
Add a stool for seated food prep
Consider anti-fatigue mats
Install grab bars if needed

Bathroom:

Raised toilet seat
Shower chair or bench
Handheld showerhead
Non-slip mats

Mobility:

Clear walking paths
Remove throw rugs
Add railings to stairs
Consider a cane or walker temporarily

Transportation Help

If they’re avoiding driving:

Offer specific rides (not just “call me anytime”)
Research medical transportation services
Look into senior ride programs
Help set up rideshare apps

Combat isolation by:

Scheduling regular visits or calls
Helping maintain friendships
Arranging accessible activities
Connecting them with support groups

Part 5: Navigating the Healthcare System

Preparing for Appointments

Before the visit:

List all medications and dosages
Write down symptoms and questions
Review what’s been tried before
Note any changes since last visit

During the visit:

Take notes or record (with permission)
Ask for clarification when needed
Request written instructions
Get copies of test results

After the visit:

Review what was discussed
Set up any follow-up appointments
Fill prescriptions
Note any warning signs to watch for

Understanding Medicare Coverage

Key points to know:

Part B covers outpatient treatments
Gel injections covered since 1997
PT has annual limits but exceptions available
Prior authorization may be needed for MA plans

Use our Medicare Coverage Checklist for detailed verification.

Part 6: Recognizing Warning Signs

Signs of Depression

Seek help if you notice:

Persistent sad or “empty” mood
Loss of interest in activities
Changes in appetite or weight
Sleep disturbances
Expressing hopelessness
Talking about being a burden

Signs Treatment Isn’t Working

Consider a second opinion if:

Pain is getting progressively worse
Multiple treatments have “failed”
Function is declining significantly
They’re becoming housebound

Signs They Need More Support

Consider additional help if:

Fall risk is increasing
Personal hygiene is declining
They’re forgetting medications
Home is becoming unsafe

Part 7: Taking Care of Yourself

Caregiver Burnout Signs

Watch for these in yourself:

Exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest
Getting sick more often
Feeling resentful or angry
Withdrawing from friends
Neglecting your own health
Sleep problems
Losing interest in things you enjoyed

Self-Care Strategies

Set boundaries:

You can’t do everything
It’s okay to say no
Ask for help from other family members
Consider paid help when needed

Protect your health:

Keep your own medical appointments
Exercise, even briefly
Maintain social connections
Get adequate sleep

Get support:

Join a caregiver support group
Talk to a counselor
Connect with other family caregivers
Take breaks—respite care is available

Resources for Caregivers

Eldercare Locator: 1-800-677-1116
AARP Caregiver Resource Center: aarp.org/caregiving
Family Caregiver Alliance: caregiver.org
Local Area Agency on Aging: Search “Area Agency on Aging + [location]“

Part 8: Having Difficult Conversations

About Accepting Help

Approach: “I’ve been thinking about how to make things easier for both of us. I know you value your independence, and I want to help you keep as much of that as possible. Can we talk about some small things that might help?”

About Trying New Treatment

Approach: “I read about some treatments that might help your knee. Would you be open to learning more together? There’s a quiz that takes just a few minutes and could tell us if it’s worth exploring.”

About Safety Concerns

Approach: “I worry about you. Not because I think you can’t take care of yourself, but because I love you and want you to be safe. Can we talk about some things that would help me worry less?”

Part 9: Action Checklists

This Week

Have a conversation about how they’re really doing
Offer to come to their next medical appointment
Take our Knee Health Score Quiz together
Review what treatments they’ve already tried

This Month

Create a treatment tracking log
Review their Medicare coverage
Identify one practical modification to help
Connect with at least one support resource

Ongoing

Regular check-ins (calls, visits)
Monitor for depression warning signs
Maintain your own self-care
Celebrate small wins together

Next Steps

Start with our Knee Health Score Quiz to assess your loved one’s candidacy for Medicare-covered treatment. You can take it together—it only takes 3 minutes.